Losers Doing What They Do Best...

Person Vomited
7:46 Responded to the home of a 56 y/o HF in a permanent vegetative state. She has been home for 1 week with her two daughters, and they've called 911 twice since she's been home. She lives on the second floor of an apartment complex, and every time they need her to go see a doctor, they need to call 911, because they can't move her from the second floor. Today she was eating, and she vomited a little bit. They called the doctor to tell him that she had vomited, and he said they should probably call 911 and bring her in, because she might have aspirated while vomiting. She had no signs of aspiration or any other signs or symptoms. We transported her to the nearest ER while her daughter, that takes care of her, went to school. Hmm...I wonder if calling 911 had anything to do with wanting to get rid of mom for a few hours.

That's What You Get For Being a 2 Y/O Locked Inside of a House
10:14 Responded to the home of a 2 y/o HF, CO a laceration on her nose. The little girl was inside her house, and the mother was locked out. The mother broke the window to gain entry while her daughter was next to the window. The glass from the window lacerated the little girl's nose. The bleeding had mostly stopped by the time we arrived, and the little girl would not let us even come close to her nose, so we professionally drove a crying 2 y/o to the hospital, without any medical attention. When we arrived at the hospital, the little girl wouldn't let the nurses touch her nose either, so they gave up.

Dehydrated Lady in a Nursing Home That Doesn't Do Much Nursing
11:49 Responded to a nursing home facility for a 90 y/o WF described as being unresponsive. The nurses entered the room and found her unresponsive, staring blankly at the wall. The highly trained & competent nurses (one of which was an RN) called 911 and reported that she was in cardiac arrest. We arrived and found her less responsive than usual but definitely alive. We transported her to the hospital and gave her an IV for suspected dehydration. The Pt. was lively and responsive upon arrival at the hospital...something an onsite RN might have been able to handle (IV fluid restoration, that is).

Coont Catch Ma Bref
13:18 Responded to the group home (state funded) of a 70 y/o BF, CO breathing problems. She had a history of emphysema and CHF, and she still smokes about a pack of cigarettes every day. She said she just feels like "ah coont catch ma bref today," ever since this morning. I asked her if she ever considered giving up smoking. She told me she was 3x older than I am, so she knows what she's doing. While we were there, she caught her bref, and she didn't want to go to the hospital (the other occupants of the house called on her behalf, but she didn't want no amblance).

False Alarms
14:20 We got called to an assault, but it was a false alarm.

17:33 We got called to a fire, but we were disregarded because it was just a stove fire.

Why Go to the Hospital When the Fire Station is Free?
18:43 We got called to another fire station for an 80 y/o WF, CO "feeling funny." She lives the same distance from the fire station as she lives from the hospital. She chose to drive to the fire station instead of the hospital. The ambulance from that fire station was gone, so they called me. I was about 10 minutes and 5-6 miles away; she was 1/2 mile from the hospital. She said she didn't want to go to the hospital; she just wanted to get checked out. She said she goes to the fire station all the time to get checked out...it's more convenient than the hospital, and it's free. She was afraid her blood pressure was a little elevated. We asked her if she's been taking her BP meds, and she reported that she WAS taking her BP meds, but she started just taking a half of the pill when her BP got normal (at around 110). We explained to her that the purpose of taking the entire dose was to make her BP normal, and her elevated BP might be due to the fact that she's only been taking half her normal dose. I'm glad we can professionally sort these things out for people sometimes, even if it does cost taxpayers millions of dollars.

Street Cleaning
19:59 Responded to a 43 y/o HM, found having a seizure in the street. A doctor was leaving the restaurant and found this homeless dude having seizures...she called 911. When the guy became coherent, he didn't want to go with us to the hospital. He had a history of seizures, and it had happened before. He tried to escape us, but didn't get far before he fell over. We talked him into going so that someone else wouldn't call us to come pick him up again.

God-Given Front Door Key...Her Fist
2:18 Responded to the apartment of a 23 y/o HF, CO lacerations to her arm. She was coming home from a "gay party" (she wanted to make sure we knew it was a "gay party"), and she realized she had left her keys at the party. She had her two kids and husband with her, she didn't want to go back to the party, so she punched a hole in the front window with her hand/arm. She had a couple of lacerations to her arm that might have needed stitches. We professionally drove the entire family to the hospital, and she was sent straight to the waiting room for her minor lacerations.

Interesting FunFact...When we were on location, there were two other ambulances on the same row of apartments, picking up losers for various other reasons (65 ambulances in a city of 2+ million people, and 3 of them are on the same exact street, at the same time...what a nice, bunch of upstanding citizens).

Drunk Guy Looking For His House, Didn't Find It In DOT Parking Lot
3:52 Responded to the local Department of Transportation building for a 24 y/o BM, who was extremely intoxicated, trying to find his house, took a wrong turn, and ended up in the parking lot of the DOT, with the car in Drive, pinned against a security gate, and then he just gave up and went to sleep. We were called by the DOT Security to show up, turn off his car and professionally wake him up. The police arrived and arrested him.