In Case You Didn't Realize I Was a Hero...

Self-UN-Medicating Seizure Patient
11:54 We responded to a 35 y/o HM, working in a metal fabrication factory. According to bystanders, he fell down and had a seizure. When we arrived, he had already regained consciousness, and he told us that he did have a history of seizures, but he decided to stop taking his medications a long time ago. He said normally when he has seizures, he doesn't go to the hospital. So, we drove him to the hospital, so he could get a prescription for seizure meds which he wasn't going to fill.

Hospital Shopping
14:31 We were called to the apartment of a 55 y/o HF who was CO abdominal pain for the past few weeks. She said, "I wen to the hospita righ here close to my house las nigh, [her tone changes to an accusatory tone, and she begins to cry] but they refuse to trea me...I din thing they cou do tha." I asked her if the hospital did anything to help her, or if they just refused to see her. She said, [still crying] "well...yeah, they ran a bonch of tests and stoff and tol me I migh have diverticulitis, but then they tol me they wun't give me no drugs or nothin...they tol me I shud go to the county hospita if I wan to get drugs and further treatmen." So she went home, decided to wait about 12 hours, and then called a 911 emergency ambulance to take her to the county hospital. When we got to the county hospital, we walked her to the waiting room, and she got in line behind about 150 other people (about an 10-12 hour wait).

Very Ambulatory Hobo With Ankle Problem
17:16 We were called to a nearby fire station for a 65 y/o BM hobo with a hurt ankle, due to being hit by a car some time the night before. He walked a few miles to get to the fire station, walked into the station, and then walked into the ambulance, without any sign of distress. We took him to the hospital, and he walked to the waiting room, where I'd bet he walked out within a few hours.

Rear-Ended By Some Heroes, What Could Be More Reassuring?
19:24 A fire truck ran into the back of an SUV, because, according to the driver of the fire truck, the lady didn't pull to the right, and he had his lights and sirens on. The lady told us she couldn't pull to the right because there was traffic, so she just stopped where she was. Then she said, "I didn't think they could just run into the back end of my car if I couldn't pull to the right." I told her she probably had a pretty good point. She said she was terrified when she got hit, but then she saw the reassuring sight of a firefighter approaching her. She said that, instead of being reassuring, the hero began yelling at her, asking her why she didn't pull to the right. That's the way to be a hero...he may have rear-ended a helpless, innocent lady, but at least he made her feel bad about getting rear-ended. There weren't any injuries, but the firefighters called an ambulance anyway, just to CYA.

We Are Medical Geniuses
20:49 We responded to the home of an 80 y/o HF who fell out of her chair and couldn't get back up, which is a regular occurrence. When we got there, the husband was just arriving. He went in the house and picked her up. Then he walked her outside and asked us if we could check her out. We asked if she wanted to go to the hospital, since we're not doctors, and we can't really tell if you're OK or not OK, unless you're having a major problem (bleeding out of an artery in the neck, for example). They resolutely refused to go to the hospital and asked us again to just check her out right here, "like we did last time." It's so cute when people think we know enough about medicine to tell them if they're OK or not OK. So, we "checked her out," with our all-knowing, magical blood pressure cuff, and gave her a clean bill of health. They were satisfied with that.

What Can an Ambulance Do For a Broken Arm, You May Ask?
22:16 We responded to a street corner for a 15 y/o HM who had fallen down on his bicycle and hurt his arm. He had an obvious deformity to his forearm (broken arm). So we wrapped a placebo around his arm (crappy splint and a wrap) and drove him to the hospital. I tried to make the ride smooth, but he moaned every time we hit a bump...we have terrible suspension in the ambulance.

14 y/o Drinking Her Problems Away
23:16 It's that girl that had the tree limb fall on her arm (14 y/o WF). This time her father called 911 and reported she was unconscious/possible cardiac arrest. Her dad is actually a doctor. When we got there, she was lying on the ground, conscious, and puking green alcohol-smelling stuff (there was a bottle of watermelon-flavored Midori on the counter). We asked her if she had anything to drink. We expected this to be a stupid question, and we expected her to say, "duhhh...of course I did." Instead, she denied having anything to drink, even though she was puking green alcohol. Her dad also insisted it was not alcohol, saying it was more likely a hypoglycemic reaction, even though her blood sugar was normal. On the way to the hospital, she finally admitted that she might have drunk 5 shots and had some green Otter Pops. By the way, good news...her arm was healing quite nicely, and she was starting to be able to use her hand again.

Motorcycle Wreck...Probably Not Going to Make It
1:00 We were called to a Papa John's restaurant for a motorcycle wreck, with a possible severed thumb...Ho-hum, right?. Well, when we got there, we found a 30 y/o HM lying on the ground, unconscious, with a deformed left femur and multiple contusions to his torso. The motorcycle was demolished. He apparently ran into Papa John's at around 40 MPH. They said he was pulling in (he was a delivery driver), and all of the sudden, he just sped up and hit the wall. We called a fire truck and a paramedic squad, put a c-collar on his neck, put a traction splint on his leg, stripped him down, put him on a backboard, wrapped his thumb, and hauled ass to the hospital. He actually regained consciousness on the way to the hospital, but they had to knock him out again to tube him, since he had dimished breath sounds and a pulse Ox of 80. Later, the doctor told me the outlook was not good. He had a ruptured spleen, liver, and lung. We tried.

Here Come the Cops, Quick, Eat the Drugs...
2:42 The police called us for an OD. They watched a 48 y/o WF buy drugs from a guy, they followed her, and when they went to arrest her, she swallowed two crack rocks. After about 30-45 minutes, the police decided to call us, so that we could drive her to the hospital. We got her out of the police car, walked her to the ambulance, and drove her to the hospital. She said she felt fine, and she looked OK (pulse was a little high...around 100), but we took her anyway, because the police didn't want to take her. We dropped her off in the shock room where I'm sure they were about to pump her stomach. When we dropped her off, she still felt fine, 1 1/2 hours after ingesting the drugs.

Wrecker Drivers Being Heroes...Errr...Creating Business...
3:45 We were called to an unconscious person in a Walgreens parking lot. When we showed up, we found out it was a drunk person who decided to pull into a parking lot and sleep it off. We healed him by tapping on his window and waking him up. A tow truck driver was the hero who called us. Tow truck drivers actually do this quite often. They drive around and find people sleeping in their cars on the side of the road. They're hoping the person will be taken by either the ambulance or the police, and they'll get to tow the car. The police ended up taking this one for DUI/PI, and the wrecker driver was rewarded with a tow.

2 Cars, 1 Pole, No People...
3:56 We were called to a motor vehicle accident. When we got there, we found a car, which had run into a pole, but there were no people. The people who live near the accident said the guy hit the pole, then the car behind him hit the back end of his car. The driver of the car that hit the pole jumped out of his car and got in the car of the person who ran into the back end of his car, and then they drove away in a car that barely moved, due to extensive damage. So...the people did what responsible citizens do best, they called 911 for an ambulance for a guy who took off.