Deep Throat?...Sometime Around 2001-2002

So I was minding my own business, happily serving the citizens of my city by providing emergency medical services, as usual, and I was called to a sick person.

I arrived to find a 60+ y/o WM complaining of complications caused by his chronic illnesses. He had Hepatitis-C, and he had lost quite a bit of weight in the previous few weeks. He was dehydrated, and he thought he was about to die. To me, he also appeared to be on death's door. He weighed about 120 pounds, and he had trouble standing up by himself. He wanted to go to the VA Hospital, so I happily obliged. I probably even said something like, "Anything you'd like sir...at your service," because that's the type of civil servant I am.

When he and I were alone in the back of the ambulance, on the way to the hospital, he told me I was a really nice guy, and he told me that he thought he was probably going to die soon. I didn't disagree. Then he said, "I want to tell you something...Have you ever heard of Deep Throat?" I said, "Yeah...from the Watergate thing (as opposed to the porno)?" Then he replied, in a very deep voice, "Well, you're looking at him."

He didn't appear to be the typical crazy, drunk, delusional, Vietnam Vet; everything he had said, up until then, seemed perfectly coherent and reasonable. He was looking at me like he was dead serious, while I was smiling, waiting for the joke. All in all, I had trouble doubting what he said.

I was kind of flustered and slightly incredulous, and I responded, "(duh) Really, how many people know about this?" He said, "Including you, three." I said, "Woodard, Bernstein, and me?" He said, "Yep."

I proceeded to ask him a bunch of questions about his role in the government at the time, his history in the military, and the government agency for which he worked. At no point did he seem like a schizophrenic, drunk lunatic, with delusions of grandeur. I hear a lot of B.S. from our patients, but this guy did not seem like he was B.S.ing me. He told me detailed stories of being in the military and working in government agencies. I told him I was once interested in joining FBI or CIA, and he emphatically encouraged me not to do it, warning me that it would completely ruin my relationships with my wife and family.

I said goodbye to him at the hospital, and I thought about it all day. I tried to think of reasons why he would be lying to me or why he might have been a crazed lunatic, but the more I thought about it, the more I became convinced that he wasn't lying. Several months later, I thought about it again, and I attempted to look on the internet to see if anyone had researched the real identity of Deep Throat. I found quite a bit of information about Deep Throat, along with several lists of possible candidates. A guy named John Dean and several other college professors had apparently dedicated their lives to finding out who Deep Throat was. I almost felt bad that these dudes had dedicated their entire lives to figuring who Deep Throat was, and all I had to do was give him a ride in the ambulance and act nice to him.

Later, in 2005, it was revealed that William Mark Felt, Sr. was "Deep Throat." The funny thing was that William Mark Felt, Sr. was not the guy I transported to the hospital that day. However, it was interesting that, when it was revealed that Mr. Felt was Deep Throat, Mr. Felt had no memory of being Deep Throat. Apparently he had Alzheimer's Disease, and he couldn't remember much of anything, but since everyone was telling him that he was Deep Throat, he believed it and went along with it.

So...who is the real Deep Throat, and why would people want us to believe that it was William Mark Felt, Sr., when it really wasn't? Or...why was this seemingly normal & sane dude just lying to me about being Deep Throat? The world may never know. I wish I had the resources to find the guy I transported and ask him about all this stuff, but he's probably dead anyway.